In the era of Windows 98 and when AOL was somewhat respected

Let's just say that between all the recent deaths in my high school graduating class, reconnecting with old friends, and finally having a few moments to myself, I have been extremely nostalgic recently. And coincidentally, my dad wants to give his old computer away, and I came across my old email filing cabinet while sifting through the hard drive. It was like discovering a dusty album under your bed. Talk about a trip down memory lane.

Lo and behold: emails since *gasp* 1999!

I can give you a summary of what I had saved in that filing cabinet:

1)I met an awesome chick in high school, where we exchanged many angsty emails over the summer ranting about people at school, our parents, life in general, and her ultimate move to Spain. She had her problems back then, but she was able to trust me and confide in me about the most intimate things. We continued to keep in touch, and sometimes she would write that she really missed me. I missed her a lot too. We have come a long way since that summer.

2)I was just getting into music, and was involved with various listservs. For example, I used to be a ridiculously obsessed with the Goo Goo Dolls, and must have deleted some 50 emails containing interview transcripts, concert anecdotes, and other random interactions with fellow Goo fans. It's a shame they suck now.

I also loved The Replacements ever since my favorite high school English teacher introduced me to them. "The 'Mats" as they were abbreviated. The dude who headed up the 'Mats listserv used to organize a "tape/CD trade" every Christmas. If you signed up for it, you had to made a mix CD for someone random on the listserv, and they reciprocated. It was a really cheap and thoughtful way to find random music. One year I did it, I got 2 Replacements CDs, which was awesome. And the other year, the person I was paired with totally snubbed me and didn't sent me anything. I'm still waiting, you asshole! Haha.

Speaking of the Replacements, they had some great songs as well: Left of the Dial, Can't Hardly Wait, Birthday Girl...Paul Westerberg did some solo stuff too but I can't remember titles right now. Another group I gotta pull out of the vault.

3)Forwards were such a big deal. So many funny jokes, bumper stickers, silly surveys, whatever amused us at the moment. I don't really get many forwards anymore, thankfully...I don't think I'd ever leave the computer

4)Boys, boys, boys...so many of them at the time :-P In that filing cabinet I found emails from 3 boys I've kissed, 2 boys who officially asked me out, and 1 who I am still involved with now!

Everything in that filing cabinet will be deleted tomorrow since I'll be too lazy to wake up and figure out how to print and archive it before my dad takes the computer to my uncle, who will delete it permanently.

One side of me wants to save and print everything out, to savor every moment like that tourist who takes a million pictures of the damn landmark from 50 different angles. I want 50 different angles of my life to reflect upon. Plus, like my parents, I am a packrat and I feel like I'm being gutted whenever I have to dispose of anything.

But another part of me sees those emails as conversations: passing dialogues that we all naturally forget about with time. The more practical (and physically exhausted) side of me is saying....Jess, get some sleep and lay those memories to rest. You have lots more time to accumulate even more memories, and hopefully this time they will be significant enough that you won't wait 8 years to look back at them.